In this newsletter I give you some insight into the words and phrases we use here on the farm. But before we dig in, let’s have a few announcements!
We could use some help selling the remaining shares. It seems the “end of the pandemic” is having a negative effect on this season’s recruiting. Specifically it appears several of our existing members are “traveling” this summer and feel they won’t be around enough to enjoy the wonderful produce. I suspect there is a large, pent-up demand globally for summer travel. So I caution you all who think you’ll have a wonderful time traveling this summer. I suspect you will be sadly disappointed by long lines, horrible traffic and expensive tickets. On the other hand, those who are sticking around or only traveling a week or two this summer will enjoy delicious, nutritious, farm-fresh, local produce — with no lines! I know which one I would choose. So if you can find a few friends/family members/neighbors who are smart enough to not waste their time and money fighting the crowds this summer, send them out way. For everyone who writes your name in the “Where did you hear about our farm?” text box on their VeggieShare order we will credit your account $25. We appreciate your help and support!
Speaking of helping find more members, if you are so inclined to use social media feel free to express your excitement about our farm on your favorite social media site, whether it is Facebook, Twitter, NextDoor, Reddit or whatever other ones I am unaware of. Thanks again for your support!
We are still looking for some help this summer. Check out this job posting then quit you lousy job and come work for us!
We are still taking orders for ‘ShroomShare, CoffeeShare, plant six packs, WinterShare , EggShare and FlowerShare if you like.
Farm News
Over the last 20 years we’ve developed our own lexicon to help us navigate the complex world of Community Supported Agriculture (CSA). Many of our terms come from the many employees we’ve had over the years. Some words are as simple as “drips” for leeks that aren’t very big. Others take a bit more explaining, like “savages” for cabbages. Of course there is all the BS we provide — Brussels Sprouts.
Many times the words are based on an employee’s name. When you farm as long as we have you tend to get multiple people with the same name. So we have to differentiate them. We have machete Dave. We’ve had something like four Emilys but I guess we’ve just numbered them. Then there was the person Nick who was really good at finding potatoes so he became Spud Nick. An example from last season is an employee’s name that is now used to define a planting problem in the greenhouse. (The sprouting plant in the first picture is ginger!) The situation that needed a name was when someone is seeding in the greenhouse and they misinterpret the instructions and plant the wrong number of seeds per cell. We now call it, well, I don’t want to embarrass the former employee in case she reads the newsletter so lets just say we call it Jonesing. To use it in a sentence: “Don’t Jones the lettuce!”
One of our oldest and most endearing term is used for those members who for whatever reason feel we are not meeting their expectations. This doesn’t happen often but occasionally either we didn’t provide what they thought we were going to provide or they are just difficult people. Typically we try to placate these members and rectify any issues we have under our control. But once in a while there is a member who just cannot be made happy. And what we’ve found over the years is that is is far cheaper to refund their money than to try to make them happy. No matter what we do we will never satisfy their expectations. So now if we have this type of situation we’ll refund their money and “dismember” them. It may seem like an extreme response but dismembering someone is better for all involve — trust me. There might be a bit of pain initially but that quickly goes away as the relationship dies with the dismembering.
Along the same lines during this time of year while we are recruiting both old and new members we have a term for trying to get members to return. We call it “remembering”. For example, “Come back. We want to remember you!” It can work for recent members as well as members from the distance past. Remembering someone from last year is far easier than remembering someone from say ten years ago but that is to be expected. (The seed question is a trick question. Those aren’t seeds; they are fruits. But of what? Maybe next week?) So if you haven’t rejoined yet please come back so we can remember you!
I’m sure there are other terms we use (Who can forget last season’s retirement?) that I can’t recall at the moment. But this gives you a brief view into the evolution of not just farm lexicon but also the English language, which as we all have been told is constantly evolving.
That’s it for now. As always, feel free to chime in with any questions, comments, jokes, puzzlers, or new words we should consider for the future of farming.