I discussed in a previous newsletter many years ago that where physicists deal with matter and anti-matter we farmers deal with matter and doesn’t-matter. In the case of matter and anti-matter when the two collide energy is released. With matter and doesn’t-matter their collision doesn’t result in anything interesting, however matter and doesn’t-matter can change between the two states, i.e. matter can become doesn’t-matter and doesn’t-matter can become matter. You can learn more at the above link.
I bring this up now because I have recently become aware of another phenomenon much like matter, anti-matter and doesn’t-matter. This new (at least new to me) area of interest is facts and alternative facts. All my life I thought that there were only facts. Facts are facts. And either something is a fact or it isn’t. Now I’ve become aware of alternative facts — facts’ evil stepsister. Who knew? It appears that facts and alternative facts can coexist. From my brief observation when they coexist they repel each other. For example, when someone states a fact and someone else gives an alternative fact there is a force that pushes both people away from each other. It seems that this repulsive force is quite strong. I’ve also observed that when facts and alternative facts exist together within the same system there is a large increase in the sound energy emanating from the system — without any noticeable decrease in the energy contained within the facts and alternative facts! I’m not sure of the physics behind this — anyone? Finally, from my past education I learned that facts can assemble together to create a group of facts called reality. I have yet to understand what a group of alternative facts are called — alternate reality? Seems like as good a term as any.
Anyway, since I am now in possession of this newfound knowledge on facts and alternative facts I thought I would look back at this past season and see what facts and alternative facts I can find. So here you go:
Fact: Finding and retaining personnel was a challenge this season.
Alternative Fact: It was delightful having to work so many extra hours!
Fact: The consistent wet weather hurt our winter squash production dramatically.
Alternative Fact: The consistent wet weather caused a dramatic decline in the number of weeds.
Fact: Mosquitoes were the worst we’ve seen in the history of the farm.
Alternative Fact: Bloodletting is surprisingly effective!
Fact: The sweet corn got knocked down, but it got up again. Never goin’ to keep it down.
Alternative Fact: Chumbawamba was THE most successful rock band from the ’90s with many number one hits.
Fact: Eggplants did surprisingly well this summer.
Alternative Fact: Members were demanding more eggplant.
Fact: Below are a few announcements.
Alternative Fact: No need to read them.
Fact: We have pricing for Seafood and SalmonShares! There are some important and positive changes to these two products. For SalmonShare we now have four months of delicious wild Alaskan salmon instead of three. We added Copper River Sockeye for the month of July. For SeafoodShare we added a couple new varieties of fish including Yellow Eye — also known as red snapper — a sweet flakey whitefish and Quillback — a succulent white flesh fish. These additional varieties allow us to have two varieties of seafood each month. With this change the amount of salmon has decreased slightly to accommodate these other fish. We had several people last season order both SalmonShare and SeafoodShare and were overwhelmed with salmon. This season the two packages will complement each other far better. Both SeafoodShare and SalmonShare have early deadlines for ordering so please put your order in as soon as possible.
Alternative Fact: It is almost as good as farm-raised salmon.
Fact: We also added CheeseShare, EggShare, IceCreamShare, FlowerShare, WinterShare, MeatShare and CoffeeShare to the online store. I believe the prices haven’t changed for any of these. Yay!
Alternative Fact: People can pay more than last season if they want to (Hey wait, I think this is a fact!)
Fact: We are now assembling our seed order for this season. If there is anything you would like us to grow please let me know ASAP.
Alternative Fact: Processed food is so much better for you than fresh, organic veggies.
Fact: We still have shares available. Please tell your friends, neighbors, cousins, inaugural compatriots, protest marchers, etc.
Alternative Fact: Let’s keep the farm as our own special little secret.
Fact: This is the end of the newsletter.
Alternative Fact: Don’t bother me with questions, comments, suggestions, jokes, brain teasers, etc.